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Posts from the ‘Inspirational Thoughts’ Category

I Went to the Enemy’s Camp….

Well, I went to the enemy’s camp and

I took back what he stole from me (my marriage)

I took back what he stole from me (my children)

I took back what he stole from me (my depression)

I went back to the enemy’s camp and

I took back what he stole from me (OMS, RAD, FASD, ADD, ADHD BRAIN DAMAGE, PTSD)

You know

He’s under my feet

He’s under my feet

Satan is under my feet.

I went to the enemy’s camp and

I took back what he stole from me (my children’s mental health)

I took back what he stole from me (my child’s learning disabilities)

I took back what he stole from me (my relationships with family and friends)

I went to the enemy’s camp and

I took back what he stole from me

You know

He’s under my feet

He’s under my feet

Satan is under my feet

I went to the enemy’s camp and

I took back what he stole from me (our finances)

I took back what he stole from me (my fears)

I took back what he stole from me (my life)

I went to the enemy’s camp and

I took back what he stole from me

You know

He’s under my feet

He’s under my feet

Satan is under my feet

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Where to Go From Here

Today is Friday….Friday’s are typically spent with my Lady.  I would head over to her house a little before lunch and we would either eat there or go out….that began our day together.  Once we were done eating, I would get some laundry started or get started on her “Brandi do” list.  Don’t get me wrong…I love to organize and I love her and I would do anything she asked me to do….and I did LOL  Once those little things were done, we would head to her chair and I would head to mine and we would sit……..we would talk……I would cry……..she would pray…..she would teach me.  I would head home about 4, get supper started and then head back over there to bring her supper.   Somedays I would eat with her and somedays I would drop it off and head on home.

Now.

I sit here, at my table, eating a salad……alone…..

We buried my Lady yesterday.  It was a day we were all dreading but we knew that that is what she wanted…to be with her hero and her Jesus.  We all know that she would never come back to this fallen earth….that she would simply wait till our room was ready and she would meet us at the pearly gates.

Her service was beautiful.  I was honored that I was asked to sit with the family, though I am not blood.  This family took me in, like their own and loved me.  I am thankful for her boys Joe David and Doug.  I’m thankful for their wives Esther and Luanne.  I’m thankful to the two grandkids that I have met Devon and Chelsea…..then there is Caden, Abigail, Colton, and a new one on the way.  I had the privilege to meet her brother and his wife and her nieces and nephews at the funeral.

Her precious friend did the service and he did exactly as she asked.  Make it a celebration of life and not a free for all cry session….oh, and be sure you talk about the plan of salvation.  Her constant prayer was that everyone come to know her friend, Jesus.  She was pretty special like that.

Our friendship was rare…..so many people have “acquaintances” but that is as far as it goes.  We had a closeness that cannot be described.  She knew my EVERYTHING and I knew her EVERYTHING.  She caught me by surprise one time, during her hospital stay…a nurse asked a standard question and she answered it in a way that I was not expecting.  Once the nurse left…I got all up in her stuff and I said “Faithie….are you sure you did that, for that long?”  She smiled and said yes but she was not proud of it.  I asked her how I never knew that and she said that that was something I did not need to know LOL.  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather.

Our relationship shifted a bit after her stroke in 2015.  I did more of the housework and I took care of her needs a bit more, but that did not diminish what she did for me.  She taught me how to live life to the fullest.  How to love my husband and my Jesus without reservation.  How to parent and make cornbread.  How to get out stains like a beast.  How when she called and said “Brandi…when you have time….” I never heard the rest of the sentence.  My kids knew if she needed me, I would go.  I’m blessed to have older children who can watch the younger children.  I’m also blessed my kids loved her so deeply and she loved them.  I would always tell her, I’m on my way.  I would always try to hide my grin or my gaping mouth when I would walk in and see what it was that she needed….once she flooded her kitchen LOL….what was she thinking????

Everything I did for her…..I did it with joy in my heart and love.  Whether it was hauling her somewhere, filing her toenails, cleaning up, sitting with her…so many sleepless nights.  It was absolutely and honor and a joy to be in her presence.  It was always and will always be my pleasure….there was never an I’m too tired, I’d rather not, can someone else do it, it can wait…”  I just did it because she needed it.

I will never have another relationship like I had with her.  I have close friendships and I treasure them…..but she was my everyday.  There will never be another Ms Jo, Josephine, Faithie, my Lady………….

There is a giant hole in my heart……..one that will never be filled.  Jesus did good when He allowed our paths to cross.  He knew I needed her and He knew she needed me.

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I’m Ready for my Rainbow

I posted something on FB the other day stating what all we had coming up, as a family.  There was my surgery, Hunter’s IVIg treatment, Jude’s surgery, my daughter coming home after 22 weeks at military school, my Lady’s health, and the sentencing of my niece.  A lady said that with all that, that means you are due a rainbow.

Well….rainbow…..it is time for you to show the heck up.

I *need* a rainbow.

Since about April or March of 2015…the Lord turned my life upside down and inside out.  If it could go wrong, it went wrong.  He took what I thought was a firm foundation and He shook it to the core of my being.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a lot but I’m over it and now I just want my rainbow…..I really really do.

When the first massive (and no I am NOT exaggerating) thing happened…..I thought my world just stopped spinning.  I remember that day, like it was yesterday.  I was doing some cleaning up of things and I came across something that took my stomach from its normal residence down to the bottom of my feet and then back up to the top of my head.  I remember telling myself to “stay calm.”  You do not know that this is true so do not make assumptions.  I restrained myself when I called someone up to talk with me.  The question I asked….the answer I got….then the truth came out.  Then, I had to start all over with another person and do the same thing over again.  I remember falling to my knees and making a noise that sounded like a wounded animal.  I could not get my breath.  I could not stop crying.  I just crumpled myself while the other parties sat and looked helpless at the revelation.  My heart was ripped out of my chest and shattered that day.  The Lord has been gracious in putting my heart back together, but it will never be the same as it was that day.

Once I got my bearings about me, I ran out of the room and I got in my van and I headed to the one place that was my safety.  My Lady’s house.  I knocked on her door and I heard her yell “I’m coming!”  I stood there….frozen.  She opened the door and she just looked at me and I crumpled in her arms wailing.  I could not even form words.  She gently guided me to her dining room table and I laid my head in her hands….she never asked anything….she just simply prayed over me.  Once I could pull myself together, I told her what had happened.  She never showed emotion (other than her hurting because I was hurting)….she just loved me.  She loved the people who had hurt me so deeply.  She continued to pray and she called a beloved friend of all of ours and she simply said “can you please go here and do this and this.”  Our friend never missed a beat…..he did what she asked.  He knows everything and he has never ever judged or condemned any party.  He has simply loved, counseled and prayed over everyone involved.

The love my Lady has for my family is unspeakable.  It is pure, unconditional, and honest.  Believe me, she cleans my clock when I am in the wrong and she does it with a smile on her face and Jesus in her heart.  She is my person…….plain and simple.  Her guidance, through this all, is why I still am where I am and why I didn’t allow satan to make a horrible situation even worse.  I did not fall into the flesh and do what I wanted to do….I did as I was guided through intense prayer, accountability for all that was a part of this, ejecting things out of my life (though painful), and learning to live without those damn rose colored glasses…….

It has taken time to forgive….time I cannot get back but then again, the time was necessary in my healing process.  A line was drawn in the sand, that day.  A line that no party wants crossed because if it is crossed, the outcome will be way different than it was in 2015.  Forgiveness is not about giving the people who hurt me permission to do so.  It is about releasing the shackles from my feet so that I can dance.  It is about not letting satan take a moment of flesh to dictate my, or the other parties involved, future.  It is about being obedient to Jesus dying on the cross….forgiving with His last breath.

I still have moments of “what are you doing, what are you hiding, are you lying to me.”  But they are fewer and further between.  I am not perfect.  I have to remind myself that I have forgiven, in Jesus’ Name, and I’m not allowed to throw this topic up when it suits me or when I want to feel “justified” about something.  I am NOT a victim because I actively choose joy.  I actively choose obedience.  I actively choose to take that next right step, which is shown by the Light at my feet.

Once this issue was “resolved” (I say that in quotes because I still struggle, still have trust issues, still have nightmares but I believe I have forgiven)….our world was rocked again.  Rocked in a sad heart tugging way that not many people truly understand….till tomorrow, friends and neighbors.

Who’s Up for a Giveaway???

This giveaway was a bit delayed in getting to me…..so when I got my notice that I need to have my review done, I reached out to my person and I told her that I never received the CD…..when I got done emailing her, my husband nonchalantly said “hey, we did get that CD, I’ve been listening to it all week long.”

Tis my life.

This week, I’ve been recovering from surgery and I’ve not been on my game…at all.  I’m so thankful for the people who love my family well, to bring us food, send us well wishes, come watch my kids, and keep me occupied so I do not rehurt any part of my broken body.

So, this review comes courtesy of my sweet husband, Big Daddy.  He “really likes it because it has good upbeat songs that he can get behind.”  It is reaffirming what God spoke to him a few Sundays ago, in church.  To live out his faith, to be the man that God has called him to be and to get off the sidelines and be an active part of life instead of a lukewarm bystander………………..which means, he really like this CD 🙂  I’m anxious to hear it now!

 

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Matthew wrote his new album All In with the goal of encouraging himself and others to get up off the sidelines of their faith and really live it out – to go all in in your time with God, all in with your family, all in with your community, and all in battling your fears that may hold you back from becoming who God made you to be. Along that same theme, Matthew will be launching a 6-week All in Challenge on his social media starting 9/18, and each week Matthew will be challenging his fans to go all in in a different part of their lives. What does it look like when a heart that knows Jesus takes a step and holds nothing back? How can we go All In in the places that mean the most?

In order to be eligible to win this giveaway, you must like this post or any of the other social media posts that I have about this.  You can find all my social media outlets >>> on the side bar.  I will be drawing on Friday, September 29, 2017.

Social Corner:

Broken Things Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwKuz8a8Jnk

Broken Things (story behind the song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BipPAfDq9ns

All In Lyric Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RwDpnKIvUI

All In (Story Behind The Song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmjVt4zkkRo

Buy Link: http://capcmg.me/Allin?IQid=flyby

Operation “Get My Life Together”: Zero Based Budget

The other night, Big Daddy and I sat down and had a chat.  I told him how I was feeling and that I was tired of serving two masters….God and money.  I felt like we were drowning in debt and I am tired of it.  I’m tired of worrying and feeling like I’m being controlled by it.  I have no freedom when I am in debt.

We CHOOSE to be done.

When I researched a zero based budget….I thought that the concept was insane.  After further looking into it, I began to see the positives of it and it forced me to take a long hard look at our money and where it goes.  Then, I left fear seep in….the fear of embarrassment, of feeling like I’m upside down in our finances (have more debt/bills then paycheck), and then it felt like an elephant sat squarely on my chest and I kept hearing “there is no hope…you are trapped…just keep on keepin’ on…you are not hurting anyone.”

The great thing is that I CAPTURED that thought and I REMEMBERED Truth!  When I have Jesus….and I do….there is ALWAYS hope.  Did He “ordain” my stupidity?  I don’t think so.  Did He “allow” my stupidity?  Yep and now we are reaping what we have sown. Natural consequences to our stupidity.

Its a NEW day.  Its a NEW dawn.  Its time to let HIM take control over my finances.  I know that it is time because Big Daddy is on board!  Stay tuned to our journey of becoming debt free!

Moving on to Pinterest

I have completely run out of things to organize in my house, for now.  It is a weird feeling knowing that I purged SO much and I have organized SO much and I have donated SO much.  I almost feel guilty because we spent SO much money on things that I have thrown away or given away.  We have not been very wise with our money, lately, but that game is over.

We have been very good at our zero based budget and we are knocking out loan #1.  It is so exciting to see the money we thought we did not have (being wasteful) and FINDING it again and then making great use of it.  I love love love seeing the time being knocked off the back end of our loan.  We are on a roll. We are saving, putting towards our sinking fund, putting it towards our debt, and things we have never allotted money for because we thought we did not have it.

With that being said, back to the reason for this post.  I’m going to be organizing my pinterest board.  Adding stuff, subtracting stuff, and posting my thoughts on the recipes that I have saved.  It will still have a board for encouragement and things that make me happy.  I’m also going to look at stuff for saving money while making small home improvements, etc.

You can click on the link at the right to go straight to my pinterest board.  You are welcome to follow or do whatever it is that people do on there 🙂  I’m really excited.

Youtube……

I started a Youtube Channel (sort of). It documents Hunter and where he was when he moved in with us to after his diagnosis with OMS (Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome). I did this for his doctor because it was taking FOREVER to do via email. You are welcome to view those videos…maybe if I get brave, I can do more videos on other things…we shall see. Feel free to share 

If there is anything you want to see from me….just give me a holler and I will see what I can do.  I’m still playing around with it.

Thanks!

 

The Lamb Has Overcome

This past Sunday, we sang the song “Forever” by Kari Jobe.  We have sung this song many times….I have heard it on Pandora a thousand and one times.  This is the first time that I have really thought about the lyrics to this song.

“Forever”

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Saviour of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon HimOne final breath He gave
As heaven looked away
The son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever He is glorified
Forever He is lifted high
Forever He is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome

You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome

I think the phrase that hit me so hard was “The Lamb Has Overcome.
He has OVERCOME….regardless of what it is.
He has OVERCOME Reactive Attachment Disorder in my daughter.
He has OVERCOME Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in my son.
He has OVERCOME my health issues.
He has OVERCOME Big Daddy’s bad knees and hips.
He has OVERCOME depression.
He has OVERCOME OMS.
He has OVERCOME finances.
He.  Has.  OVERCOME.
He wins.
Why do I choose to worry about the things that go on in my life?
Why do I worry about our finances, our health issues, our surgery dates, our infusions, the behavior issues of my children, my parents’ health?
Why?
He has already solved these issues.  His divine will has been set into motion from before the creation of the earth.  This is why we sing Hallelujah.  In the crappiest of situations where we see no hope…..He becomes the Hope because He OVERCAME it all for us. What a revelation.  What a statement.  What a realization.  Wow….just freaking wow!
Be blessed in knowing your personal friend….Your Jesus…..has OVERCOME just for you. If you were the only person on the face of the planet…..He would still OVERCOME all your trials and tribulations.
Wow.  Gives me a whole new appreciation and perspective.

The Beauty in a Bonfire

When I was a child, my Granny and Grandaddy would have weenie roasts at their house. Our whole family would be there.  My grandparents had 5 children and from those 5 children, there were 14 grandchildren.  All of us would show up….then there were always extras.  My sister and I were very close to 2 of our cousins…we are all stair stepped in ages.  Tera, Amy, Ty, and me and we were our own little force to be reckoned with.

I remember grandaddy sitting in the carport, hand churning homemade ice cream for the evening.  Our bonfire was as big as a house and we’d have chairs and logs to sit on. We would laugh and eat till we puked.  Oh….those sweet sweet memories.

My heart has been aching for my granny.  I don’t know why…but just to hear her voice and play a game of Scrabble.  Juicy Fruit gum.  Fried chicken that was fried in grease and a stick of butter for good measure.  Sneaking a bowl of ice cream and then her giggling asking me to make her a bowl.  Stale cheese puffs.  Okra burnt beyond reason….that is the only kind of okra we eat.  Rides in the back of the tractor.  Riding in the back of the truck to our uncles house.  Playing in the woods.  So.  Many.  Memories.

We have not had a weenie roast since my granny passed away, 11 years ago and it is high time to get that going again.  I brought this up to my mom and she said pick a date.  We chose Labor Day because my sister, from Georgia, had the time off and could come.  Also, on Sept. 9, my parents will celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary.  It is a great month of celebration, especially since my daddy’s quadruple bypass surgery earlier in the year.

Here is the results of our brand spanking new tradition!

 

Relaxation 101: A Beginning

I live in the land of stress.  It is not a nice land…..lots of moles, vermin, sewage issues, etc. My Lady fusses at me all the time about my stress level and how much I take on.  I mean, I care for her (I see that more as a privilege), I have 7 kids (one trying to find love and a job in her field; one just left love and is heartbroken….as well as going to college; one in military school because of her behavior; one who is finding himself as a “man” and beginning to drive; one with FASD and depression, along with learning disabilities; one who is hearing impaired; and one with OMS).  I have my counseling I do, when I have the time, I have parents who I think/worry about, sibling issues, work issues, Big Daddy’s health stuff…..blah blah blah blah.

So, in this little series (as I think of it), I’m going to discuss ways that help me to relax. Some may cost a little money, some may cost a lot or some could be totally free 🙂

The first one, I experienced tonight!  The weather is starting to turn, so it isn’t too hot and it isn’t too cool.  My favorite times of the year.  I love love LOVE to have my windows down when I drive.  To hell with the snot that flings out my nose and hits the child in the seat behind me.  To hell with the bird’s nest that resides in my hair and I cannot get a brush through it.

Exhibit A:

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This is what happens when you get the bright idea to be a girl and curl your hair…using LOTS of hair products.  This happens to be the same day that your daughter has therapy and it is one of those glorious cool/warm days when I drove 40 miles to the therapist office.  I got out of the car, with my daughter who never said a word.  I walked in to a room full of clients who are staring at me.  My first thought was “I am on fire today and I look like a girl and they are all being jealous.”  I smile…I go to sign the register.  The receptionist looks as me and gasps.  I smile and say “yep, I know you never see me looking all nice with my hair curled, so yes…it is still me…just with my hair done.”  She gives me this weird smile.  We sit.  Daughter does her school work and I decide to run to the bathroom…and this is what I found.  This was the result of freshly fixed hair, lots of product, and my obsession with the window being down.  “It’s All About Mary” came to mind.  I about died.  Died.  I just about died.  There was no laying this sucker down.  Short of me sticking my head in the toilet to wet it…..I just decided to embrace it.

As we were driving home from a family movie/dinner night…we rolled the windows down and I just sat there, with my eyes closed and the wind blowing in my face….I was at peace.  I couldn’t hear the children because of the wind in my ears (and hearing loss LOL).  I couldn’t see anything around me because it was dark.  Just glorious wild wind.  I’m glad Big Daddy was driving so I could enjoy the full scope of it all.

Try it sometime…..but carry a brush with ya 🙂

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