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Posts from the ‘Homeschooling’ Category

I’m Ready for my Rainbow

I posted something on FB the other day stating what all we had coming up, as a family.  There was my surgery, Hunter’s IVIg treatment, Jude’s surgery, my daughter coming home after 22 weeks at military school, my Lady’s health, and the sentencing of my niece.  A lady said that with all that, that means you are due a rainbow.

Well….rainbow…..it is time for you to show the heck up.

I *need* a rainbow.

Since about April or March of 2015…the Lord turned my life upside down and inside out.  If it could go wrong, it went wrong.  He took what I thought was a firm foundation and He shook it to the core of my being.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a lot but I’m over it and now I just want my rainbow…..I really really do.

When the first massive (and no I am NOT exaggerating) thing happened…..I thought my world just stopped spinning.  I remember that day, like it was yesterday.  I was doing some cleaning up of things and I came across something that took my stomach from its normal residence down to the bottom of my feet and then back up to the top of my head.  I remember telling myself to “stay calm.”  You do not know that this is true so do not make assumptions.  I restrained myself when I called someone up to talk with me.  The question I asked….the answer I got….then the truth came out.  Then, I had to start all over with another person and do the same thing over again.  I remember falling to my knees and making a noise that sounded like a wounded animal.  I could not get my breath.  I could not stop crying.  I just crumpled myself while the other parties sat and looked helpless at the revelation.  My heart was ripped out of my chest and shattered that day.  The Lord has been gracious in putting my heart back together, but it will never be the same as it was that day.

Once I got my bearings about me, I ran out of the room and I got in my van and I headed to the one place that was my safety.  My Lady’s house.  I knocked on her door and I heard her yell “I’m coming!”  I stood there….frozen.  She opened the door and she just looked at me and I crumpled in her arms wailing.  I could not even form words.  She gently guided me to her dining room table and I laid my head in her hands….she never asked anything….she just simply prayed over me.  Once I could pull myself together, I told her what had happened.  She never showed emotion (other than her hurting because I was hurting)….she just loved me.  She loved the people who had hurt me so deeply.  She continued to pray and she called a beloved friend of all of ours and she simply said “can you please go here and do this and this.”  Our friend never missed a beat…..he did what she asked.  He knows everything and he has never ever judged or condemned any party.  He has simply loved, counseled and prayed over everyone involved.

The love my Lady has for my family is unspeakable.  It is pure, unconditional, and honest.  Believe me, she cleans my clock when I am in the wrong and she does it with a smile on her face and Jesus in her heart.  She is my person…….plain and simple.  Her guidance, through this all, is why I still am where I am and why I didn’t allow satan to make a horrible situation even worse.  I did not fall into the flesh and do what I wanted to do….I did as I was guided through intense prayer, accountability for all that was a part of this, ejecting things out of my life (though painful), and learning to live without those damn rose colored glasses…….

It has taken time to forgive….time I cannot get back but then again, the time was necessary in my healing process.  A line was drawn in the sand, that day.  A line that no party wants crossed because if it is crossed, the outcome will be way different than it was in 2015.  Forgiveness is not about giving the people who hurt me permission to do so.  It is about releasing the shackles from my feet so that I can dance.  It is about not letting satan take a moment of flesh to dictate my, or the other parties involved, future.  It is about being obedient to Jesus dying on the cross….forgiving with His last breath.

I still have moments of “what are you doing, what are you hiding, are you lying to me.”  But they are fewer and further between.  I am not perfect.  I have to remind myself that I have forgiven, in Jesus’ Name, and I’m not allowed to throw this topic up when it suits me or when I want to feel “justified” about something.  I am NOT a victim because I actively choose joy.  I actively choose obedience.  I actively choose to take that next right step, which is shown by the Light at my feet.

Once this issue was “resolved” (I say that in quotes because I still struggle, still have trust issues, still have nightmares but I believe I have forgiven)….our world was rocked again.  Rocked in a sad heart tugging way that not many people truly understand….till tomorrow, friends and neighbors.

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Gearing Up

Since I did my Once a Month Cooking Session, back in July, I’m ready to start again.  I have had a hysterectomy since then, so one week of recovery also included generous folks helping a girl out and bringing supper to my crew.  So very thankful…..I have thoughts on that, but I will save that for another day.

My youngest has also had his second round of IVIG (immunotherapy) for his OMS (Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome), so he has had a bit of a set back…also, my daughter, who was in military school for 22 weeks), also came home.  Also, my sweet Lady is hanging on, so I am trying to spend as much time as I can with her before the Lord has her room ready.  I’m SO thankful that her boys are home (one lives out of state and one is recovering from a massive accident).  She loves them so deeply and it is such a joy to be a fly on the wall with these two…and their sweet wives 🙂  She also was a proud great Granny Jo again, when her granddaughter had her latest bundle of joy.  Lots of joy in the midst of life.  So lots going on, as usual.  It has been an adjustment with me just being tired and sore, Hunter being wobbly and unsteady, and G learning how to be a part of this family, me trying to stay with my Lady as I can…..so we have been keeping our heads down and just muddling through.

I do have food leftover from the last time (I know, right LOL)….so I do have a “base” of what I’m working with.  I am switching up suppers and such (using my PINTEREST boards).  As I cook, if I do not like a recipe, I immediately delete it and add a new one to replace it.  There was a pork quinoa recipe that was like eating the treads off a car…..sadly, I have another one of those, frozen…I’ll be thawing that sucker out and giving it to the chickens…I love my family *too* much to feed them that again.

What I will do, this time around, is cook this weeks of menus and double it.  We will eat on one set of meals and the other will be used either as we need it (aka when I’m over it and still have to feed the people who live in my house) or save it till for week 14 of the New Year (Weeks 14 & 40 are the same).  We shall see.

I still have the following frozen dishes:

Chicken wrapped in bacon (mashed potatoes and peas)

Cheeeseburger soup and Chili

Breakfast Casserole

Stuffed Pepper Soup and Enchilada Soup

Baked Chicken legs (roasted Italian potatoes and cauliflower/broccoli au gratin)

Mexican Lasagna

Spinach Mexican Lasagna

For this week….I am making (doubling):

Pizza

Tacos

Minestrone Soup and Creamy Tuscan Garlic  Tortellini Soup

Mississippi Roast (sour cream and cheddar mashed potatoes, Mac & cheese, Zucchini)

Buttery Garlic Herb Chicken & Zucchini (Au gratin potatoes, prosc. wrapped asparagus)

Cowboy Casserole (Corn Pudding & Lima Beans)

I am also going to see if my budget stretches to Weeks 15 & 41 to cook a bit more and freeze a bit more.

On tap for that is:

Pizza

Hamburgers/hotdogs/fries

Easy Lo Mein (with Egg Drop Soup)

Chicken Parmesan Soup & Asiago Roasted Garlic Cauliflower Soup

Skillet Chicken with Garlic Herbed Butter Sauce (crispy garlic smashed potatoes, green bean casserole)

Chicken Alfredo Baked Ziti (Bread and salad)

My grocery list will be on tomorrow’s post (I hope).  I will also include any breakfast or lunch freezer meals.

Operation “Get My Life Together”: Zero Based Budget

The other night, Big Daddy and I sat down and had a chat.  I told him how I was feeling and that I was tired of serving two masters….God and money.  I felt like we were drowning in debt and I am tired of it.  I’m tired of worrying and feeling like I’m being controlled by it.  I have no freedom when I am in debt.

We CHOOSE to be done.

When I researched a zero based budget….I thought that the concept was insane.  After further looking into it, I began to see the positives of it and it forced me to take a long hard look at our money and where it goes.  Then, I left fear seep in….the fear of embarrassment, of feeling like I’m upside down in our finances (have more debt/bills then paycheck), and then it felt like an elephant sat squarely on my chest and I kept hearing “there is no hope…you are trapped…just keep on keepin’ on…you are not hurting anyone.”

The great thing is that I CAPTURED that thought and I REMEMBERED Truth!  When I have Jesus….and I do….there is ALWAYS hope.  Did He “ordain” my stupidity?  I don’t think so.  Did He “allow” my stupidity?  Yep and now we are reaping what we have sown. Natural consequences to our stupidity.

Its a NEW day.  Its a NEW dawn.  Its time to let HIM take control over my finances.  I know that it is time because Big Daddy is on board!  Stay tuned to our journey of becoming debt free!

Let Me Get This Straight

This is a convo that I had, the other day, with my 13 year old son.

Me:  D, did you take the dogs out?

D:  No.

Me:  Did you feed and water the dogs and cats?

D:  No.

**it was after lunch at this point….chores are usually done by 9 am**

Me:  Can you name me each of the major wars from as far back as you can remember, in order?

D:  Rattles them off PERFECTLY beginning in the year 1754 with the French and Indian War.

Me:  Can you tell me who was involved in each of these wars?

D:  Rattles the names off PERFECTLY.

Me:  How is it you can remember these details, but you cannot remember the same chores you have had for 7 years?

D:  I like wars.  I do not like chores.

Touche’ little fella.  Touche’.

The beauty of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder.

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Moving on to Pinterest

I have completely run out of things to organize in my house, for now.  It is a weird feeling knowing that I purged SO much and I have organized SO much and I have donated SO much.  I almost feel guilty because we spent SO much money on things that I have thrown away or given away.  We have not been very wise with our money, lately, but that game is over.

We have been very good at our zero based budget and we are knocking out loan #1.  It is so exciting to see the money we thought we did not have (being wasteful) and FINDING it again and then making great use of it.  I love love love seeing the time being knocked off the back end of our loan.  We are on a roll. We are saving, putting towards our sinking fund, putting it towards our debt, and things we have never allotted money for because we thought we did not have it.

With that being said, back to the reason for this post.  I’m going to be organizing my pinterest board.  Adding stuff, subtracting stuff, and posting my thoughts on the recipes that I have saved.  It will still have a board for encouragement and things that make me happy.  I’m also going to look at stuff for saving money while making small home improvements, etc.

You can click on the link at the right to go straight to my pinterest board.  You are welcome to follow or do whatever it is that people do on there 🙂  I’m really excited.

Youtube……

I started a Youtube Channel (sort of). It documents Hunter and where he was when he moved in with us to after his diagnosis with OMS (Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome). I did this for his doctor because it was taking FOREVER to do via email. You are welcome to view those videos…maybe if I get brave, I can do more videos on other things…we shall see. Feel free to share 

If there is anything you want to see from me….just give me a holler and I will see what I can do.  I’m still playing around with it.

Thanks!

 

The Lamb Has Overcome

This past Sunday, we sang the song “Forever” by Kari Jobe.  We have sung this song many times….I have heard it on Pandora a thousand and one times.  This is the first time that I have really thought about the lyrics to this song.

“Forever”

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Saviour of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon HimOne final breath He gave
As heaven looked away
The son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting?
Our resurrected King
Has rendered you defeated

Forever He is glorified
Forever He is lifted high
Forever He is risen
He is alive, He is alive!

We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome

You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome
You have overcome

I think the phrase that hit me so hard was “The Lamb Has Overcome.
He has OVERCOME….regardless of what it is.
He has OVERCOME Reactive Attachment Disorder in my daughter.
He has OVERCOME Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in my son.
He has OVERCOME my health issues.
He has OVERCOME Big Daddy’s bad knees and hips.
He has OVERCOME depression.
He has OVERCOME OMS.
He has OVERCOME finances.
He.  Has.  OVERCOME.
He wins.
Why do I choose to worry about the things that go on in my life?
Why do I worry about our finances, our health issues, our surgery dates, our infusions, the behavior issues of my children, my parents’ health?
Why?
He has already solved these issues.  His divine will has been set into motion from before the creation of the earth.  This is why we sing Hallelujah.  In the crappiest of situations where we see no hope…..He becomes the Hope because He OVERCAME it all for us. What a revelation.  What a statement.  What a realization.  Wow….just freaking wow!
Be blessed in knowing your personal friend….Your Jesus…..has OVERCOME just for you. If you were the only person on the face of the planet…..He would still OVERCOME all your trials and tribulations.
Wow.  Gives me a whole new appreciation and perspective.

Operation “Get Life Together”

Operation “Get Life Together” is underway.  Here is a bit of what all has been going on the last week or two…..

  • Scheduled:  Dental appointment!  This is HUGE because I do not like the dentist, but my teeth do not like me.  It is what it is.  I have had a toothache for a while and because I CHOSE not to do anything about it (excuses:  time, money, don’t want too, doesn’t hurt that bad, blah blah blah), I now have 2 choices…1) get it pulled (insurance pays) or 2) have a root canal (insurance DOES NOT pay).  I also have to have a wisdom tooth out and some cavities to be filled.  As good as I am brushing, my mouth has always been full of cavities (maybe its genes maybe it is lots o candy).  Anyhow, I have my appointment made for my extraction or root canal.  I got them cleaned.  I also have 2 other appointments I need to make and then I will be caught up with my mouth!  Yay me!  And because I’m awesome, I went ahead and scheduled 5 of my 7 kids an appointment for their teeth to be cleaned.  Yes, I’m a rockstar, I know.
  • Scheduled:  Mammogram!  Girls…take care of your boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!  Breast Cancer is curable if it is caught early!  Now that I’ve said that, I will say that it has been 5 years since I had my last one (practice what you preach, I know).  It was also scheduled for today….which I had to cancel because I didn’t want to take the 3 little boys to this appointment and I had no one else to watch them.  I did reschedule for the week after next. I will be keeping that one!
  • Scheduled:  Papsmear!  Girls…..take care of your girly bits!!!!!!!!!  Is it fun?  Heck no.  Is it necessary?  YES!  I did go, but to my chagrin, I was late and I had started my period.  Good times were had by all.  The nurse and doctor sat down with me and we discussed life, my body, what the problems were, etc.  We have a game plan and I have a new appointment on the 25th of August.  I will be getting my bloodwork done (haven’t done that in about 3 years), I will be doing a urine test, an ultrasound on my insides, a hysteroscopy (they scrape the inside of your uterus) and a papsmear.  Getting it all done in one day (I may throw in a tattoo for good measures cause it is right across the street).  Once all of this is done and the results come in, I will be getting a hysterectomy, a bladder sling, and my girl parts fixed.  I am stoked.
  • Scheduled:  Hunter’s OMS follow up appointment and his Pediatric Opthamology appointment.
  • Need to schedule:  eyeballs for all.
  • I have begun working on our ZERO based budget plan and will do a follow up of that when Big Daddy and I sit down and write it all out.
  • We have discussed our debt and how we are getting out of it.  We are on the same page.
  • I have *not* been to the gym yet.
  • I have a goal of getting back into the swing of going to church on Wednesday nights.
  • I have begun a “for me” project…more to come on that.
  • I rocked the freezer meals.  I went and bought our groceries back around a month ago and we still have a good month left of freezer meals….it will last us almost 2 mths!  We have only had to go to the grocery one time (for lunch items and some breakfast stuff).  I spent about $550 on that July trip and we are still going strong.
  • Get my freezer meal ideas on paper
  • Cleaned my room!
  • Organized the laundry room
  • Organized/cleaned the garage
  • Made my purse emergency kit
  • Made my van emergency kit

I’m rocking it all out.  If you would like any info on organization, cleaning, the kits I’ve made, meal planning, etc….drop me a comment below.  I’m considering doing a video on some of these things to help with those who are visual, like me LOL

New Purchase

Yes….I’m determined to get out of debt.  Yes…..we have a doable plan that will take us *forever* but still….we will get out of debt.

That being said, sometimes you just need a little something something to help the monotonous days seem a bit brighter.  I saw this hashtag  on someone’s social media (yes, I’m a stalker) and I thought “wowzer, I need that tattooed on my forehead and plastered all over my walls.”  There are days when I feel like I’m entering the 7th level of hell and it is just me and a water pistol.

There are days that I am overwhelmed.  Looking at these PILES of books that I’m trying to get through because I’m doing the kids school planning is OVERWHELMING me.  Seeing the pictures I have taken off the walls and not put up yet is OVERWHELMING me.  OMS is OVERWHELMING every inch of my person.

I am not defeated.  Jesus is still on the throne.  He has already laid out His plans to prosper me and not to harm me.  I’m just choosing to be all up in the flesh instead of depending on him.  Well………..not today, satan.  Yes, I ordered this shirt.  Yes, I may wear it everyday till it falls off my body.  Yes, I may get one in every color.

When I wear this shirt, I know that it is not just me in the 7th level of hell with a water pistol….it is He who shield me and stands to either side of me and in front of me and behind me.

So….with that being said….click on this link ZXZY Women Cotton Short Sleeves Not Today Satan Letter Print T Shirt Blouse Top and get yours too! We can be twins 🙂

Enough is Enough

Tonight, I had this overwhelming feeling of being suffocated by debt.  I hate that feeling. I hate the fact that I am a slave to money.  That is not how it is supposed to be.  When we moved into this house, about 10 years ago…we had no debt (other than our previous house).  We do not do the whole credit card thing (learned our lesson from that), we didn’t have new furniture…if we did, we paid cash for it.  Our cars were paid for, no student loans…nothing.

Now…..shazaam……we have a van payment, a student loan, an equity loan, another type of loan, a house loan, medical bills, bills from where things have broken and they have to be fixed.  It could be worse.  I know that, but I feel like, right now, this is worse because I know better.  I know what Jesus teaches us and instead of walking that narrow path that He chose for us….we saw the bright shiny-ness of the wider road and we took it.  Now, we are standing on the little strip of dirt between the wide road and the narrow road.  I equate it, in my mind, as those little pieces of dirt between the different lanes of the interstate.  Where it is posted no U turn.  That is where we are standing.  The wide road is so shiny and it is filled with new vehicles, coach bags, sports obligations, vacations, and movies.  The narrow road is not so shiny, but it is being protected, from the elements, by these beautiful weeping willow trees.  It is filled with discipline, being trusted with little, tithing, paying cash, not serving two masters.

I am over it.  I am ready to walk on that narrow road…not sure if Big Daddy is, but I also know he is tired of it too.  This is scary.  It is a hard road.  We’ve walked on that road.  We’ve made sacrifices.  We succeeded.  We can and we will, in the Name of Jesus, succeed again.  It is time to hand over this endeavor and because we are so weak…..we need to lean on Him because He is SO strong.  He is our Strong Tower.

Another issue that we have given lip service too is our health/weight.  We are fat.  We are fat people.  We are not fluffy.  We are not round around the edges.  We are not jolly.  We are fat.  Straight up.  Our health sucks.  We get winded walking up the steps to the bedroom.  Big Daddy can’t hardly walk because of pain.  We have purposed, for years, that the next year will be the year.  It is the magical year we get fit.  We give it a week…we only lose 4 lbs of pee weight and we are done.  We want a double quarter pounder super sized with a coke the size of my face and a side of a double decker death by chocolate cake.

I am over it.  Done.  Just done.  I do not want to give the illusion that we eat crap all the time.  Frankly, I do not buy sweets (now there are other people in my house that do, then eat it all in one sitting). I do drink coke.  I am going to try and cut that down to 1 a day.  We only drink water.  I cook with tons of veggies.  We do not eat much bread or pasta.  We are fruit eaters…..we do not do things badly BUT we are completely inactive and we do not blink if we want to eat out…we eat out. So, we are affecting our health and our finances by poor choices along those wide roads.

I will be documenting our journey of getting out of debt and getting this fat off of us.  You are welcome to follow along.  You can subscribe to my blog >>>>>>>>in this side bar>>>>.  You can also follow me on any social media platform (also on that side bar).  If you have suggestions, by all means, give them too me.  Suggestions on stay at home jobs, how to make some extra money on the side, healthy recipes, or exercises.  Anything.  I am open.

Here’s to having my belly full of ENOUGH.

Onward and upward.

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