~Married: Big Daddy
~Kids x 7
~Cats: Karole, Karl, Karen, Chip (Irma and Barry live here but they are not my cats)
~Dogs: Lola, Francis, Ted-O
~Master’s in Marriage and Family Counseling
~Doterra Essential Oils Rep
~I love coke, cheese, and soup
~Jesus is the Jam in my Jelly Roll
~Theme Verse: Romans 4:18a “Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing.”
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Things that I Love:
Spring and Fall
The smell of freshly baked bread.
Sniffing the hairs off of a baby.
Things that Fascinate Me:
Women who wear white….I just want to walk up and put my giant, dirty hand prints right on their behinds.
Women who have an arsenal of objects in their t-tiny purses….hairspray, 500 lipsticks, band-aids, candy, a change of clothes (just in case they are wearing white), Tylenol, diapers, books, notebooks, activities for kids, weapons of mass destruction
High heeled shoes (while walking correctly in them)….apparently, I walk like an old farm horse when I try to wear them.
Women with perfect makeup and perfect hair…..would not smear or sway in a hurricane.
Different religions….religion is for man, a relationship is for believers. Let’s quit nitpicking and hug.
Fleas…they can live up to 100 days; can produce 400-500 offspring, and can jump 150 times its own height.
Fake people…..dude how do you maintain and stay sane?
Things that Confuse Me:
Hair in inappropriate places (ie big toes, ear lobes, armpit)
Teenage girls (ie hair flipping, giggling for no reason and the next minute crying uncontrollably)
Grits….are they a potato, rice? And what are their purpose?
Doctors appointments….you are scheduled for 8 am, first appointment of the day, the only person in waiting room, yet you are finally called back at 8:45 am. It begs the question What in the Sam Hill are you people doing back there?
WalMart checkout lanes. Why only have 2 open when it is the busiest time of the day.
Double jointed people…that is more of a fascination than confusion.
Why boys enjoy their scent so much that they will not bathe or use deodorant.
Corn dogs….why do you want fried bread stuck in a hotdog and then a stick crammed in the end. Seriously?
Skinny people. Frankly, I just want to slap them. Sad, I know.
Insurance companies….why do we pay our premiums, then have to make a claim and then get dropped because of said claim.
Teeth whitener. It frightens me.
Tube tops…..they should never be worn past the age of 5.
Spandex…..who wants to purposefully sweat?
Chocolate covered fruit. Chocolate should not be ruined in this fashion.
Repeat offenders. Tip: if you get caught breaking the law the first time, then you are more than likely going to get caught any subsequent times.
Men who scratch themselves. All. The. Time. I mean really.
Emotions…they are confusing and they suck pond water.
Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org