About Me: My name is Brandi. I have been married to Big Daddy for 25 years. He got me a fourth InstantPot for our silver anniversary…for real. We have 7 children here on this fine Earth. Also, we have 2 in heaven and 2 who have our hearts. One of our children married a hairy-legged boy. I guess that means I’m a mother-in-law *gasp*.
Victoria is married to the hairy-legged boy, Ben. Alyssa is finishing up college. Noah is beginning college. Grayce will start college in January. Daniel is in 8th grade. Jude is in 7th grade. Hunter will start Kindergarten. He has a condition called Opsoclonus Myoclonus Syndrome, which is a 1 in 5 million condition.
We have lots of animals. Chip, Karl, and Karen are our cats. Francis, Lola, and Ted are our dogs. We also have a slew of chickens. Chip is the only outside cat. He is a bit demented since his twin brother, Dale, went to live with another family. He enjoys biting toes, calves, and other parts of people. We love him.
Karl is a lover. He is fat yet quick. There is not a fondness for mice as he would rather purr and get all up in your grill. Karen is sleek and feisty. She was quite feral when she came but I have tamed her crazy. She is a honey but is not fond of other people, small animals, or grass. Karen is a mouser and eats all the bugs in the house.
Francis is our pitbull mix. She showed up on our doorstep the winter we moved into this house. She was broken, tattooed, beaten, and sad. Now…she is the best animal we have ever had. Seriously an amazing dog. Lola was rescued from a puppy mill. She is a recovering poop eater and she learned to bark within 3 mths of moving in. Her back legs are longer than her front legs, she has no fur on her tail or ears. She sort of looks like a cross between a bat and a mouse. Her head is quite large compared to the rest of her body. Ted was rescued from the shelter. He is his own animal. Ted does not like men, children, or anything that moves. He does, however, like to lick himself incessantly.
My Back Story
I am an adoptive mom. Our first 3 children were born under the heart and 4 born in the heart. We have adopted from the foster care system, Ethiopia, and then we adopted a family member. They are all my joy. I enjoy coke, cheese, and soup. We love to travel.
I have my master’s in Marriage and Family Counseling. Also, I am a DoTerra Essential Oils Rep. I homeschooled my children for 20 years. Successfully, I have graduated 4 of my 7. The younger children will start school in the fall, which is a new venture for all of us.
Jesus is the jam in my jelly roll. My theme verse is Romans 4:18a “Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing.”
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Things that I Love:
Spring and Fall
The smell of freshly baked bread.
Sniffing the hairs off of a baby.
Things that Fascinate Me:
Women who wear white….I just want to walk up and put my giant, dirty hand prints right on their behinds.
Women who have an arsenal of objects in their t-tiny purses….hairspray, 500 lipsticks, band-aids, candy, a change of clothes (just in case they are wearing white), Tylenol, diapers, books, notebooks, activities for kids, weapons of mass destruction
High heeled shoes (while walking correctly in them)….apparently, I walk like an old farm horse when I try to wear them.
Women with perfect makeup and perfect hair…..would not smear or sway in a hurricane.
Different religions….religion is for man, a relationship is for believers. Let’s quit nitpicking and hug.
Fleas…they can live up to 100 days; can produce 400-500 offspring, and can jump 150 times its own height.
Fake people…..dude how do you maintain and stay sane?
Belly buttons….what purpose do they serve outside of the womb?
Things that Confuse Me:
Hair in inappropriate places (ie big toes, ear lobes, armpit)
Teenage girls (ie hair flipping, giggling for no reason and the next minute crying uncontrollably)
Grits….are they a potato, rice? And what are their purpose?
Doctors appointments….you are scheduled for 8 am, the first appointment of the day, the only person in the waiting room, yet you are finally called back at 8:45 am. It begs the question What in the Sam Hill are you people doing back there?
WalMart checkout lanes. Why only have 2 open when it is the busiest time of the day.
Double jointed people…that is more of a fascination than confusion.
Why boys enjoy their scent so much that they will not bathe or use deodorant.
Corn dogs….why do you want fried bread stuck in a hotdog and then a stick crammed in the end. Seriously?
Skinny people. Frankly, I just want to slap them. Sad, I know.
Insurance companies….why do we pay our premiums, they have to make a claim and then get dropped because of said claim.
Teeth whitener. It frightens me.
Tube tops…..they should never be worn past the age of 5.
Spandex…..who wants to purposefully sweat?
Chocolate covered fruit. Chocolate should not be ruined in this fashion.
Chinese finger toy.
Repeat offenders. Tip: if you get caught breaking the law the first time, then you are more than likely going to get caught any subsequent times.
Men who scratch themselves. All. The. Time. I mean really.
Emotions…they are confusing and they suck pond water.
Feel free to email me at email@example.com