Remembering: October 2010-December 2011. What a beautiful and horribly difficult this season of my life…
More Sadness on October 25, 2011
More Sadness on October 25, 2011. Sadness, on a really gorgeous day. Another day with no word from immigration on our newest paperwork submission. I’ve been praying, daily, that it will happen. Yet, today and there is still nothing.
Well, that’s one word. There are several other words that I have, but none need to be aired out on the internet. Most words, however, are not Biblical so I should not even type them out. It is hard to see, day after day, posts/emails/etc. about successful adoptions that have little to no issues. We have worked so hard, we’ve learned so much, and yet our son is still not home.
I’m not sure what the Lord is doing, but I pray that He is working this all out for His glory. Somewhere inside, I *am* happy for these families. I just wish this story was our story. I’ve distanced myself from people to guard my heart and my sanity. I sincerely hope they understand.
First, I feel like I hear a family say, “we’re adopting.” Then, two days go by, and I hear “we have a referral.” Next, two more days go by, and I hear “We were approved by immigration.” Lastly, two more days go by, and I hear “We are traveling next week.” Finally, before you know it, the child has been home a month. The same family is doing this all over again. They do this because it was “so wonderful” the first time around.
We’re adopting. Then days, weeks, and months go by. Finally, we have a referral. Next, days, weeks, and months go by, and we get word that we are traveling for court.
Adoption is finalized. The day after we get home from this international adoption, a letter from immigration. Sadly, immigration says ‘we need more stuff from you.’
Another set of days, weeks, and months go by, and we hear “we are intending to deny you. You should’ve never traveled in the first place.”
Oh wait, more days, weeks, and months pass on by, and we get our first (of many) denial.
After even more days, weeks, and months saunter by, and we hire an attorney, find a job for me, life change for my kids, new home study agency, and new home study.
Then we wait another few days, weeks, and months. The home study is done, and now we are waiting for an attorney. Which takes, you guessed it, days, weeks, and months…crickets…
Still, waiting on our attorney. Our attorney sends us and immigration more paperwork, and because of that, we fork out more money. Then, in one week, immigration wants more evidence.
Eventually, we get evidence sent off again. Over a year later…..WE ARE STILL WAITING.
I. Am. Tired.
I’m tired. I have a little fight left in me. There was one friend that said that due to us having “so” much trouble, that must mean that God doesn’t want him to be in our family. Every ounce of me wanted to smack the taste out of her mouth. That kind of negativity is not needed. I need prayers, regardless of the outcome. I eat, sleep, breathe, work with my son’s face in my head. Praying, daily that God will show us all the way and for a person to say that, well, they needed to be smacked.
What God has brought us too…He will be FAITHFUL to bring us through.
I cling to that.
Until then….we wait.