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Where to Go From Here

Today is Friday….Friday’s are typically spent with my Lady.  I would head over to her house a little before lunch and we would either eat there or go out….that began our day together.  Once we were done eating, I would get some laundry started or get started on her “Brandi do” list.  Don’t get me wrong…I love to organize and I love her and I would do anything she asked me to do….and I did LOL  Once those little things were done, we would head to her chair and I would head to mine and we would sit……..we would talk……I would cry……..she would pray…..she would teach me.  I would head home about 4, get supper started and then head back over there to bring her supper.   Somedays I would eat with her and somedays I would drop it off and head on home.

Now.

I sit here, at my table, eating a salad……alone…..

We buried my Lady yesterday.  It was a day we were all dreading but we knew that that is what she wanted…to be with her hero and her Jesus.  We all know that she would never come back to this fallen earth….that she would simply wait till our room was ready and she would meet us at the pearly gates.

Her service was beautiful.  I was honored that I was asked to sit with the family, though I am not blood.  This family took me in, like their own and loved me.  I am thankful for her boys Joe David and Doug.  I’m thankful for their wives Esther and Luanne.  I’m thankful to the two grandkids that I have met Devon and Chelsea…..then there is Caden, Abigail, Colton, and a new one on the way.  I had the privilege to meet her brother and his wife and her nieces and nephews at the funeral.

Her precious friend did the service and he did exactly as she asked.  Make it a celebration of life and not a free for all cry session….oh, and be sure you talk about the plan of salvation.  Her constant prayer was that everyone come to know her friend, Jesus.  She was pretty special like that.

Our friendship was rare…..so many people have “acquaintances” but that is as far as it goes.  We had a closeness that cannot be described.  She knew my EVERYTHING and I knew her EVERYTHING.  She caught me by surprise one time, during her hospital stay…a nurse asked a standard question and she answered it in a way that I was not expecting.  Once the nurse left…I got all up in her stuff and I said “Faithie….are you sure you did that, for that long?”  She smiled and said yes but she was not proud of it.  I asked her how I never knew that and she said that that was something I did not need to know LOL.  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather.

Our relationship shifted a bit after her stroke in 2015.  I did more of the housework and I took care of her needs a bit more, but that did not diminish what she did for me.  She taught me how to live life to the fullest.  How to love my husband and my Jesus without reservation.  How to parent and make cornbread.  How to get out stains like a beast.  How when she called and said “Brandi…when you have time….” I never heard the rest of the sentence.  My kids knew if she needed me, I would go.  I’m blessed to have older children who can watch the younger children.  I’m also blessed my kids loved her so deeply and she loved them.  I would always tell her, I’m on my way.  I would always try to hide my grin or my gaping mouth when I would walk in and see what it was that she needed….once she flooded her kitchen LOL….what was she thinking????

Everything I did for her…..I did it with joy in my heart and love.  Whether it was hauling her somewhere, filing her toenails, cleaning up, sitting with her…so many sleepless nights.  It was absolutely and honor and a joy to be in her presence.  It was always and will always be my pleasure….there was never an I’m too tired, I’d rather not, can someone else do it, it can wait…”  I just did it because she needed it.

I will never have another relationship like I had with her.  I have close friendships and I treasure them…..but she was my everyday.  There will never be another Ms Jo, Josephine, Faithie, my Lady………….

There is a giant hole in my heart……..one that will never be filled.  Jesus did good when He allowed our paths to cross.  He knew I needed her and He knew she needed me.

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