There are other priorities in my life. My oldest daughter is struggling to find her way and making some big decisions while healing from the difficult past year she has had. My second daughter is embarking on her newest college school year, she has started a new job, but she needs so many little things to guide her into becoming the best she can be. My number three daughter is coming home from military school in a few weeks. Sadly, she has not gotten any healthier and her weight is still a concern. She is doing okay school wise, but she is still having behaviour issues. Her future is unknown. My oldest son is starting his junior year of high school, he is fixing to start driving and he has a part time job that he loves. My second oldest son is struggling with his learning disabilities, staying on track with school, dealing with depression, and his behaviours are not that great. Our next son has his surgery coming up in a month or so. He will be receiving a BAHA hearing aid. We are super excited for what that will mean for him, but it is still surgery….on his head. He has basketball and baseball and balancing school. Our baby is still facing uncertainty with his future. He begins IVIg treatments in about a month. This is another 4 hour drive, one way, to get an 8 hour treatment. We still have good days and bad days. My husband has begun sacrificing his weekends to help us out financially and to make our goals of becoming debt free. In doing that, his knees are hurting terribly. My Lady is back in the hospital with her big ole belly that needs to be tapped. She has a severe UTI which is causing her loopiness and she is just not herself. Her dementia is getting the best of her. Her son, my sweet friend, had an accident the other day…motorcycle versus deer….deer won. He has been in the trauma unit of a hospital about 2 1/2 hours away. He is now in a local rehab to get better.
I am simply overwhelmed with doing and being all for others that I neglect myself. All doctors appointments (eye, physical, dental), all therapy appointments (speech, OT, and PT), spending the nights with my Lady so she does not have to be alone. I am trying to be it all and do it all. In doing that, I’ve totally let myself go. I have not been to a dentist in about 5 years. I have not had a pap smear or a mammogram in about 5 years. I just think if I do not feel bad…why go. There have been some “girly” issues that I’ve dealt with but I thought that was normal and why go to the doctor when you are not sure that you have a problem.
In one of my Lady’s lucid moments…she had some stern words for me. I love it when she, even in her state, she still guides me and loves me and wants me to be the best version of me I can be and that means taking care of myself. She may call me Ramona (who in the Sam Hill is Ramona?) but she is still lucid enough to jerk a knot in my tail because she knows I am someone she loves. First up….dentist. I have had a toothache for about a year now (I know, I know) and she has been on me like white on rice. I finally went and I did not like the results. I have to have a wisdom tooth pulled and then another tooth either pulled, have deep filling, or a root canal. I also have some other teeth that need attention. I went….got them cleaned….got the assessment and then I made a follow up appointment to address my needs. She was thrilled. Like beyond thrilled.
Next up: Eye Doctor. I had an appointment made for all of us and they canceled it (not me). I need to call and reschedule.
Lastly: The girl doctor :/ Shoot me now. I would rather eat a stranger’s belly button lint then go to that appointment. She was not going to let up because I’ve been having some issues (I tell her everything). I went…..I conquered. I conquered so much that I have a fibroid tumor the size of a grapefruit, which is causing all of my problems. Well, that and a prolapsed uterus. They are also going to fix my bladder. Not what I had expected but it is what it is. I will have my mammogram tomorrow. That is the only place I am okay in…I feel nothing LOL
She is beyond ecstatic that I have done what she has asked me to do and that I am doing it semi willingly (yes, she is using her hospital stay as incentive LOL). I am hoping to be back up and running before all of the other stuff comes flooding down.
God is good. All the time and all the time…God is good. Take care of yourself, mamas. If you don’t, no one will and when you are done, you are no good to anyone. I’m thankful I heeded her warnings and now I will feel better and more capable of tackling the other 5000 things I have to get done.