Being Mindful

As I’ve entered my second week of healthy eating, I have discovered a few things.

  • Exercising sucks
  • You don’t have to give up what you love, you just need to learn portion control
  • Cheese is still acceptable
  • Water isn’t horrible when you drink it in a Sonic Rt. 44 cup and lots of crushed ice.
  • Eating too much crushed ice, does up your water intake, but also hurts your teeth.
  • Exercising sucks
  • Move more, eat more
  • When you eat less cheese, you poop more regularly…who knew
  • You don’t have to eat bark and grass to be filled up
  • Salads really are good.
  • Eggs can be cooked in the microwave
  • Exercising sucks.
  • Sweet potato chips catch the microwave on fire.
  • Kale chips…though much like eating crunchy air, aren’t that bad
  • Dehydrated sweet potato chips taste like an orange and tire flavored starburst
  • Fiber bars will make you have loud, airy farts that can frighten the dogs.
  • Its cool to be able to button your jeans AND breath simultaneously
  • When you are big busted and you lose some weight, eventually, you will be able to look down and once again see your feet.  Keep your toes painted for this glorious day.
  • Coke…you can totally still have it….just drink 1 (sometimes a big one)
  • Watching your husbands muscles grow because he is lifting weights can bring a spark into any marriage…even for us old people.
  • You will have recipe fails….no need to weep.
  • If the dog won’t eat it,  your spouse and children won’t eat it either.
  • It isn’t wrong to hide under the bed with a log of smoked gouda….just nibble an ounce at a time.
  • Moderation is the key
  • Exercising sucks…for those who love to exercise.  I’d like to slap you….slapping you would burn calories.
  • Laughing about slapping you also burns calories.

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