Feeling lonely today with two kids gone. I have one child (Peach) gone with…
I am not sure what the Lord is up too…but I’m feeling really on edge. There has been something that has crossed my eyes, more than once, it has my mind turning. Turning in ways that it really doesn’t need to turn anymore. I’m almost 42 years old….there are certain things that I need to be content with being DONE and yet, images cross my mind and my heart begins to flutter.
I have SO many reasons to let it go (crap, now that stupid song is stuck in my head). I have a husband who works a lot (praises be to the King who provides his job). I have a daughter who is almost a junior in college and is embarking on …gasp…choke…cough…puke….courting……seriously people…P.R.E.S.S.U.R.E. I have another daughter who has just started driving and is finding her bents in life and wanting to branch out. My son (13) is preparing his heart for his future wife (she lives in the woods and is 12). He is obsessed with armpit hair and finding the perfect job that will provide for his family (HIS FAMILY…he is 13….I can’t take it!). Then there is my daughter with RAD and everyday is a super *fun* day with her (insert drama drama drama where the *fun* word is). My son who is severely dyslexic and I was told that he would probably top out at 4th-5th grade…and that is a stretch (my thoughts are WHATEVER….he can do amazing things, in this world and there is no limit on that) and lastly…Little Man. He is the resident bully, I’ve heard.
I have a dog that vomited in my bed….IN. MY. BED. By my pillow. BY. MY. PILLOW. I rolled over in it. I. ROLLED. OVER. IN. IT. Then another one that ate leftovers, in the woods and proceeded to have a poop party under my bed. Complete with corn chunks. I have an amazing farting dog so my whole house smells like rotten eggs. To offset that, I heat pumpkin spice scentsy thing…so my house smells like pumpkin spiced shitballs (yes, I swore…I’m so sorry but I do call a spade a spade). I have a chicken that we slit its neck because it was sick…threw it in the woods and it CAME BACK TO LIFE after 3 weeks. Now, no one will touch it because it came back to life. We call it the Jesus chicken. Who else does this stuff happen too? I just don’t know.
It never ends….yet neither does my mind. I’m trusting the Lord with the decisions that need to be made in our home. What is best for us…barring what people will think of us because I cannot let that influence me. He has plans to prosper and not to harm our family. He wants us to succeed and to walk the path that He has so graciously laid out before us…one step at at time. A light unto our feet….not a light unto the next 10 years of life. For now, I will wait….hopefully, I will have an announcement or two or three soon 🙂