How Many People Does It Take

To catch a mouse?

Once you have set up a barrier o’ boxes.

Removed all food stuffs from pantry.

Had a giant bowl to throw over it.

Has eaten poison.

Once you have a child who is eager to catch said mouse because she “wants to be friends.”

Yep…I do not, however, what to be its friend.

It takes 2 children in catching mode.

1 child scared to move.

1 child screaming.

1 child jumping up and down.

1 child on the phone screaming “catch it…wait what are you doing?”

and 1 mother, standing in a chair delegating.

Then…the mouse sashays out of the pantry, like it owns the world and all that is in it.

There was no scampering.

No fear.

Just a surety that this mouse is indeed the king/queen (I didn’t look closely to see if it was a boy or girl) of the house.

And now, we wait..

Armed with the knowledge that it lives here.

Armed with all my mixing bowls (must get new bowls).

Armed with strange child excited about the prospect of having a new roommate.

It is haunting our sleep.

We stomp when we walk into a room because we assume it will scamper away from us.

Living in fear of opening cabinets.

Today is the day that my little mouse-y friend must die.

There cannot be 2 rulers of this house…

It will be a battle to the death.





I will prevail.

***I hope***


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