Adoption Series: Question 4
I would describe adoption as refining. Refining me as a person and my will, temperament, perspective and ideas of what it means to be loving, a family, a parent, etc. It stretches me further than I thought I could stretch. It asks our family to see things outside of ourselves and to be a bigger thinker than many around us tend to be. It asks me to love in ways I did not know i could love.
Adoption has 3 sides… the birth-parents, the child, and the adopted parents. I can only speak of one side. For me, it’s the gospel in the living flesh…what God did for each of us. I look at our little boy and I’m just so overwhelmed at the things he’s had to endure. Especially the little things… no mama around to wipe your tears, no mama’s hugs, nobody to kiss your booboo and just to love you. There are days when I’m frustrated… trying to cram in 7 years of parenting, morals, values, family, learning, etc. that was lost. There are days when I’m just overwhelmed with pride at how far he’s come. This kid, though… he’s worth it all. Not because he’s perfect, but because God said so. Everyone deserves a family.
Laura S. is very passionate about addressing a myth that is very troublesome. That myth is adopting domestically is easier. She is spot on when she states that adoption, from anywhere, is very difficult. She states that she has yet to meet a person who has had a “flawless adoption” whether that is a domestic adoption or an international adoption. When statements like this begin to flow, passions arise and the Mama Bear instincts kick in. This is completely understandable. It is hard, for me, to remain calm and reserved when people ask these questions in front of my children. Laura states “when there is genuineness…I have more tolerance. When it is just nosy, busybodies, I tend to not have much tact.”
Laura is the same way! Here is her response to some insensitive people who ask personal questions with her daughter present “If this is said (see above about the myth) in front of my child, I often feel the need to stick up for her, as any mother would. Educating the person is the last thing that I feel like doing so I usually say, ‘Hi, this is my daughter Tigist. She was adopted from Ethiopia. She is standing right here…So what you’re really saying is because she is from another country her life has no value?’
Usually the person just walks away because they don’t know what else to say. And when I really feel like being a jerk I say, ‘You’re right, there are a lot of kids in the US that need adopting, what are YOU doing about it?’
Most of the time when it is a genuine, ‘I don’t get how the system works…’ I am more prone to explaining it.”
For more information on the participants adoption stories…please visit their personal blogs.
Jill K.: http://jkdcolorado.blogspot.com
Mandy Gerrald: http://mandyelise.com/what-one-family-wants-you-to-know…/
Warren Myers: http://warrenmyers.com/…/adoption-is-not-a-rescue-its…/
Ashley Sanders: http://www.bosssanders.com/resources