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Yard Sale Tips

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*If you have tried, for the last 3 years, to sell a port a potty, stop trying, just donate.

*1/2 box of opened tampons, no one will buy…EVER….take the loss.

*Porcelain toilets that are used as flower pots…it simply is not attractive.

*Pieces of furniture labeled “haunted” may be a hard sell.  You may reconsider that bright green sticker.

*It is a yardsale…people…this isn’t a place to sell your USED and majorly WORN clothes for $5 and actually expect them to sell.  Mark them down to a quarter or donate.

*When a clothes rack falls over on top of a little dog, expect said dog to be hurt or in shock.

*There is such a thing as Too.  Much.  Camo.

*Used underwear simply needs to be thrown away.  Period.  The end.

*When you stop at an Assisted Living Center for the elderly….do not ask if they have openings when your mother in law is in hearing shot.

*Churches are not the appropriate place to say you want to physically hurt your spouse….as I left, I was sprinkled with water and asked to come to confession.  I just wanted to leave with a sewing book.

*In response to ‘how much is this’, the correct answer does not include your latest colon tests and that you pooped that morning.

*Just because we drive behind you and stop at the sales you stop at, doesn’t mean we are stalking you.

*One must never cry in Dumplins’.

*Realize that your phone conversation can be heard by all when you are using the “speaker” function.

Man:  “hey, hon, they have a stroller here at this here yardsale.

Wife:  “Okay.”

Lady selling the stroller:  “it is a double stroller…for two kids, not just one.”

Man: “hon, it is a double stroller for two kids.”

Wife: “we only have one kid.”

Man:  “oh, that’s right, nevermind.”

*Crocheted lingerie…well, just don’t buy it OR crochet it.

*Your 4 year old daughter should never ever EVER wear anything from Victoria’s Secret.  I mean NEVER.

*Again, in the words of Todd Chrisley “ignorance can be fixed but stupid is forever.”

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