If you are standing under a tree, after a thunderstorm, and you shake said tree…
Lessons Learned from Camping
These are the Lessons Learned from Camping. Please, heed and enjoy!
- Pee, it happens and not where it should. It could happen on the bed or behind a utility shed. If you can’t see people, while you are peeing, they can’t see you.
- Spandex and fat people do not mix. Please refrain or buy a larger sized shirt.
- Tattoos and hair are in inappropriate places on men and women :/
- If you find monkey panties on the picnic table, do not assume that they are one of your children’s. Do not touch.
- Cotton can fall from the sky like manna…pretty cool.
- Parades can consist of 2 people.
Kazoos are not edible.
- If you don’t pay attention, your children will go and set on the steps of strange people’s camper steps and make conversation.
- When the magician asks the CHILDREN if they know what a “shot glass” is and then proceeds to explain…take your children and walk away.
- When you find a beer bottle, in the woods, it is not smart to put your mouth on it and making “tooting” sounds.
- Poop, it can shoot up. WARNING: keep your mouth closed! (Think of the movie RV with Robin Williams….totally happened).
- If you lose your black water tank top down the dump station, please tell someone immediately, as it will most likely cause a flood-o-poop.
- When asked if you want a $1000 fine for dumping said crap, always say no.
- When someone looks like the Fonz, don’t mention it to him cause he thinks he is hot.
- Bugs can make awesome necklaces.
- Camper toilets are a necessity.
- Not everyone gets goosebumps when they pee.
- Kids will cry.
- Scrapes will happen.
- Food will be totally consumed.
- When the little girl at the Golden Corral says “you have too many kids,” just smile and nod.
- ALWAYS accompany your, almost 9 yr old, at the buffet. He tends to pick up sausage and then sling it back in the warmer with his hands.
- If a random child gets hurt and you offer to cut off their leg to stop the pain, don’t be surprised if they do not return to your camper.
- Bedtimes and Showers are not mandatory.
- There is no shame in licking the cheese off the doritos and then putting them back in the bag for your children (or husband) to eat.
- It is always polite to leave the cream filling of the oreo, for your husband.
- When your child says “be back in 10 minutes,” they really mean “I’ll be back in a few hours, gonna go.”
- Tarp Man, he is scary. Always carry your pistol when he is close.
- Camping and baseball produces extra saliva in your son’s mouth. They will spit any and everywhere.
- Camping……….its fun 🙂