Boo are you Kidding Me? This is a typical day in our home. I cannot believe I even deal with this kind of stuff. Raising boys versus raising girls is like night and day.
Boo: “Mom, I found another snake!”
Me: “You are NOT keeping it in your room.”
Boo: “Why? It isn’t poisonous, I think it is a rat snake.”
Me: “Where was it?”
Boo: “Trying to slither away from me in the woods.”
Me: “Put it back, it could be poisonous, it is big and it doesn’t look like anything you’ve caught before.”
Boo: “Mom, its eyes are round, not slits. Oh, and its tail is a turd, not blunt. Also, it’s head is like a pencil, not triangular. Just look. Look at its anal plate, mom. It is NOT poisonous!”
Me: “Boo, I am not looking at that snake’s anal plate.”
Boo: “But mom, if you would just LOOK at the anal plate. You would know that it isn’t poisonous. Oh, it did try to bite me though.”
Now, we have Larry the Ring-Neck snake. He lives on my porch. For. The. Love.
I can’t make this stuff up. Really, I can’t. There was one morning, at the crack of dawn, that he came upstairs. I heard him whisper in my ear: “Mom?”
I rolled over and opened my eyes. Boo was standing by my bed with 4 snakes, on each hand. He had a giant smile on his face.
Me: “Boo, are those snakes?”
Boo: “Yes, ma’am. Ring-Neck.”
Me: “Where do we keep snakes in our house?”
Boo: “On the dining room table.”
Me: “Do we bring them to my bedroom?”
Boo: “No, ma’am. I just wanted to show you.”
Me: “Where do you think you need to have those snakes at this moment?”
Boo: “On the kitchen table waiting for you to see them.”
Yes, he took them out of my room and onto the table. It’s moments like this when I do not question why I color my gray hairs.