From almost the highest point….to a low point
In all fairness, for those who don’t know me, I have faults…..BIG ONES. Last night (or this morning) was no exception to that rule.
I have discovered, over the course of a couple of weeks, that although I am (indeed) a girl….I do NOT speak, however, teen girl. The hair flipping, the giggling over things I have no clue about, the obsession with matching, the drama, tears, stomping. I mean. Wow. Really? There are so many bigger issues in this world (ie orphans, poverty, starvation), yet the fact that Bug didn’t win at Dance Party was the biggest thing that ever happened….E.V.E.R.
Peach, sent me an email (from her bedroom to the living room) stating that she wanted a cellphone. Everyone else has one, why can’t she. WWWWWW HHHHHH YYYYYYY can’t she? I simply told her because she was 13, was homeschooled and had no life outside of me, that she didn’t need one. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. As tears welled up in her eyes, she stomped stomped stomped to her room and slammed the door. I walk in there, she is severely pouting and I tell her, again, the reason that she doesn’t need one and that when she turns 16 and is driving, then we will certainly oblige. She goes on to tell me that young kids have them and that she wasn’t “in fashion”. She is right, there are really young children who have a phone. There is no reason for them to have one other than they want one (most kids anyways, there are some legit reasons to give a young child a phone). I told her that her worth is not of things in this world, but in Who lives in her. That she is called to be set apart and not “in fashion” with the things of this world. I was really having a moment…..she didn’t care LOL. That’s okay. I planted the seed.
Then, there is my daughter with RAD………….her mouth……………..there are no words for her mouth. I told her, last night to go and take a shower. She has been taught, since moving in with us, that the bathroom door MUST BE SHUT when she is in there using the toilet or bathing. Period. The end. Whelp……I walk up to my bedroom, she is in the shower and the door is WIDE open. I slam it shut, to make a point (yes, that was childish, but it so gets under my skin). She comes out and this is our conversation:
Me: “what is the rule, for the door, when you are in the shower?”
DD: “it is to be shut.”
Me: “was the door shut?”
DD: “yes, it was cracked.”
Me: “does ‘cracked’ mean shut or does ‘cracked’ mean open?”
DD: “crack means open, but I shut the door.”
Me: “no, I shut the door. Why do you choose to be disobedient in the matter….do you know the rules.”
DD: “yes, I know that the door can’t be open when I take a shower. I just like it open, so I leave it cracked.”
The conversation goes on and on until I can’t take it and i send her to bed.
Then, there is this morning…we are sitting in the line, at school and Boo says that his throat feels “dry and hot as a jalepeno”.
I glance in the back and D is wearing SHORTS. I asked him what he was thinking and it is the normal “I don’t know”. This incident happens after he has been signing my name to his homework and lying to me about not having any. Hitting children at church and biting other children. Losing his book because he hid is so well. Lying through his bitty teeth. Bear in mind, D is 7….just 7…..so in an effort to not lose what little sense I have, this morning, I bring him home and he is missing school. I’m fed up with his behaviour and in an effort not to go overboard, I simply sent him back to bed…..I can’t even begin to deal with him until 9 or 9:30.
So, with the knowledge of God’s grace and love for me (even when I’m rotten); I still screw up. I still have moments of insanity where I want to run down the road, buck naked screaming at the top of my lungs. There are days when I realize, why, I’m medicated….you can’t live in this house without being medicated. LOL I’m blessed to have a Father who loves me, regardless. Who has seen my faults and still chose to send His Son to die for me, so I can live with Him forever. I am blessed.
We are still waiting on word from ET about whether or not we are cleared for travel…..praying….believing…..
Blessings from my looney family to yours.