One step forward; three steps back
Did I think my “revelation” with Gigi would heal all wounds, all RAD moments? Uhm, no…it just means that my revelation has enabled me to deal with the backwards steps that will occur, for the rest of her life. Instead of me going off the deep end or building up my wall of unemotion, when she does have a RAD moment….I handle it differently.
This morning, is no different. DH is out of the bed by 6:30…by 6:45…I feel a warm body next to me getting as close.as.humanly.possible. I realize that it is Boo, there to snuggle for a moment. I lay there, half asleep, rubbing his head. In the meantime, the troops start heading upstairs to get their clothes. We have a family closet, makes my life easier and their rooms cleaner. Once the last person comes upstairs to get their clothes, I send Boo back down to do his chores, eat breakfast and brush his teeth (as well as he is the official announcer for everyone else to do this).
I lay in bed till 7:15. Get up, get dressed, head downstairs to take the kids to school. It is met with Boo yelling at Gigi. I ask what is up, as I’m wiping the eye boogers out of my eyes and he is yelling that Gigi stated they would ALL get in trouble if ALL the lights were on. I’m thinking “whatever”…it’s all good. Then I notice ALL the Kinex is strewn all over the floor, so unless Big Daddy was playing with them last night, that generally means the boys have been. Fine, that is fine. Just pick it up. So I told them to get on with that. While they are scrambling to pick up the toys, Gigi is thrusting a piece of paper in my face and frantically telling me to just sign it because it is due TODAY. I just look at her thinking…..you have lost your pea pickin’ mind. I don’t say anything and I look at her. I briefly scan the paper and it is for her class to go to the movies. I asked her why she didn’t give it to dad the day before and her classic response “I don’t know, but it needs to be signed and returned TODAY.” I told her last school semester (as well as the boys were told) that I do not sign things 5 minutes before we are headed out to school. I want to read it, research the movie and talk to her father about it. She is devastated.
In her devastation, she chooses to sit on the chair and SCREAM at Peach to get her chapstick down. This has been on ongoing whining, begging, screaming match for the last few days. I just look at her and tell her to get her backside in the car. She stomps out, pouting. As I’m pulling out of the driveway, I explain to her, AGAIN, the reason why I don’t sign papers that are thrust in my face 5 minutes before they are due. I asked her, again, why she CHOSE not to give it to dad yesterday. I got the same response. I explained, AGAIN, that I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I’m trying to teach her responsibility and that I wouldn’t have signed it for either of the boys had they made that choice. Silence.
As for the chapstick issue…..I explained that the chapstick was not hers, to begin with. I let her use mine and that she needed to ask me, not DEMAND that Peach do what Peach was told to do. If she needed some, fine. I don’t care, but ask me, not your sister. And for the love of all that is good, do NOT demand that I do anything. She must learn to ask and wait patiently.
Do I feel bitterness, indifference, irritation at Gigi….no………I feel it about her behaviour, but the Lord showed us, both, favor this morning. It could’ve gone way differently, due to the past interactions and conflicts we’ve had. He blessed me with peace, with remembrance of love and tolerance of the RAD behaviours. She is still stomping….probably telling her teachers how horrible I am, but that is okay. I know what I know. Part of what I know is that I love HER, not so much her actions.
Isn’t that probably how God feels about us? He loves us, so very much….our actions saddens his heart.