Aw…the world has shifted and I have learned to release some control! I let Bug cook supper…the entire thing from start to finish *insert angels singing*…..I didn’t even have to clean up. She made Yummy Chicken, Green Bean Casserole, Corn Pudding, Mashed Potatoes and a Crockpot Banana Bread. I must say, for her first “real, unaided” time out of the cooking gate she did quite well.
We are in a season, with her, that I have dreaded since the day I found out I was pregnant with a girl. There is a young man who is courting her. Since they do not go out alone together, yet, he has been coming here for a little over a month. He comes the same night, every week, for dinner. He is getting to know her, she him and him us. We are a lot to take…bless his brave little heart.
Bug will be 19 in about a month…she will not be under my roof for much longer (this has nothing to do with the boy…just a fact). I want her to know her way around the kitchen. I should’ve been doing this a long time ago, but cooking is a passion of mine and my kitchen is small…I don’t like to share my space.
hiding from Bug and her millions of questions sitting outside, enjoying the fresh air when Boywonder pulls up. He is a good-hearted kid and he adores Bug. Do not, for one second, think that because he adores her that I allow any touchy feely crap…cause I do not. He knows that he needs to keep all body parts to himself at all times or there could be an unfortunate spork incident.
As he sashays up the sidewalk, I just look at him and smile. When he comes over, I cook. I cook every night, but this is an opportunity for him not to eat fast food or cafeteria food. He gets home cooking. He lives quite a distance from his mom, so he only gets her good cooking when he goes home for a long weekend. I inform him, so politely, that Bug has cooked the entire meal….alone….by herself…no help…I
told encouraged him to eat everything she made and say that it was the BEST meal he had ever put in his mouth….whether he liked it or not. I told him to put his armor on and as he stepped through the door of my house I whispered “Godspeed, son…Godspeed.”
I am not sure what the Lord is up too…but I’m feeling really on edge. There has been something that has crossed my eyes, more than once, it has my mind turning. Turning in ways that it really doesn’t need to turn anymore. I’m almost 42 years old….there are certain things that I need to be content with being DONE and yet, images cross my mind and my heart begins to flutter.
I have SO many reasons to let it go (crap, now that stupid song is stuck in my head). I have a husband who works a lot (praises be to the King who provides his job). I have a daughter who is almost a junior in college and is embarking on …gasp…choke…cough…puke….courting……seriously people…P.R.E.S.S.U.R.E. I have another daughter who has just started driving and is finding her bents in life and wanting to branch out. My son (13) is preparing his heart for his future wife (she lives in the woods and is 12). He is obsessed with armpit hair and finding the perfect job that will provide for his family (HIS FAMILY…he is 13….I can’t take it!). Then there is my RADish and everyday is a super *fun* day with her (insert drama drama drama where the *fun* word is). My son who is severely dyslexic and I was told that he would probably top out at 4th-5th grade…and that is a stretch (my thoughts are WHATEVER….he can do amazing things, in this world and there is no limit on that) and lastly…Little Man. He is the resident bully, I’ve heard.
I have a dog that vomited in my bed….IN. MY. BED. By my pillow. BY. MY. PILLOW. I rolled over in it. I. ROLLED. OVER. IN. IT. Then another one that ate leftovers, in the woods and proceeded to have a poop party under my bed. Complete with corn chunks. I have an amazing farting dog so my whole house smells like rotten eggs. To offset that, I heat pumpkin spice scentsy thing…so my house smells like pumpkin spiced shitballs (yes, I swore…I’m so sorry but I do call a spade a spade). I have a chicken that we slit its neck because it was sick…threw it in the woods and it CAME BACK TO LIFE after 3 weeks. Now, no one will touch it because it came back to life. We call it the Jesus chicken. Who else does this stuff happen too? I just don’t know.
It never ends….yet neither does my mind. I’m trusting the Lord with the decisions that need to be made in our home. What is best for us…barring what people will think of us because I cannot let that influence me. He has plans to prosper and not to harm our family. He wants us to succeed and to walk the path that He has so graciously laid out before us…one step at at time. A light unto our feet….not a light unto the next 10 years of life. For now, I will wait….hopefully, I will have an announcement or two or three soon :)
Seriously cannot quit watching and laughing at this. Makes me so happy!
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It has been a rough day…a rough weekend. My RADish is all over the place and my heart is stretched. I have been meeting, weekly, with the most precious woman EVER. She is 80 and she has stolen my heart. Her taking the time to invest in me and to constantly point me to Christ, is something that I will be forever grateful for. She is strong, outspoken, and she LOVES LOVES LOVES her Jerome. To see her face light up is worth me uttering her beloved’s husbands name over and over. She constantly tells me that he is her hero. How precious is that. She tells me when I have an issue to take it to the throne. Just “tell Him like it is.” He has “got this.” He is “big enough to handle it.”
Today….as I was driving home, my heart heavy and my mind confused, I thought…I’ll turn on Pandora and listen to it on the way home. The song that came up affected me tremendously and it allowed me to take that moment to release the hurt and pain to the Great Physician.
Enjoy…know that you are loved and that He has got this…whatever the “this” is in your life…He has GOT IT!